Week 12

This week we talked about blended families and divorce. 

My teacher Brother Williams married a divorced woman that had two kids. what i took away from class this week is how passionate brother Williams was towards the circumstance. we watched a music video of brad paisley song and brother Williams got really emotional. it really touched me and showed me how there are so many circumstances like that! it depends on your point of view of course, but i think brother Williams had a great head on his shoulders and was a great young man to take on those responsibilities. 

When a single mom goes out on a date with somebody new
It always winds up feeling more like a job interview
My momma used to wonder if she'd ever meet someone
Who wouldn't find out about me and then turn around and run 

I met the man I call my dad when I was five years old
He took my mom out to a movie and for once I got to go
A few months later I remember lying there in bed
I overheard him pop the question and prayed that she'd say yes 

And then all of a sudden
Oh, it seemed so strange to me
How we went from something's missing
To a family
Lookin' back all I can say
About all the things he did for me
Is I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be 

I met the girl that's now my wife about three years ago
We had the perfect marriage but we wanted somethin' more
Now here I stand surrounded by our family and friends
Crowded 'round the nursery window as they bring the baby in 

And now all of a sudden
It seemed so strange to me
How we've gone from something's missing
To a family
Lookin' through the glass I think about the man
That's standin' next to me
And I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be 

Lookin' back all I can say
About all the things he did for me
Is I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be 

Yeah, I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be
Because he didn't have to be
You know he didn't have to be

Week 11

This week we had really great discussions on parenting. One assignment that we had was to do a discussion board on ministering angels and i really enjoyed that. there was a story shared that i would like to include in this post.

"One of my most precious experiences occurred when my wayward son had visited me and left me in tears once again. This child is like trying to hug a porcupine! He believes he is doing himself and everyone else a favor when he tells things the way they are.’ That evening, I had been alone at home. Everyone in my support system was unavailable: my husband was away serving in a Church calling, my youngest son was at work, and my parents were out of town. I was completely defenseless when my son began to hurl unkind accusations and angry words. I remember the searing pain and agony I felt in the wake of his tirade. When he stomped out the door, I sank to the floor and sobbed. I felt myself spiraling into despair and loneliness. I thought that I had nowhere to run and nobody to turn to. As I wept uncontrollably, I realized that I wasn’t alone; all I needed to do was talk to my Heavenly Father and ask for comfort.

            What occurred then was unexpectedly beautiful and priceless. As I poured out my agony and begged not to be alone, I asked for someone to come be with me and help me through this horrible time. Soon, I began to feel a warmth creep across my body. Immediately to my right, I sensed the presence of a grandfather to whom I had been particularly close in my youth. Then, to my left, I sensed the presence of my husband’s grandmother, whom I had met only twice in our early marriage. She was sympathetic to my plight; she had lived her life without seeing any of her sons active in the Church. As these two family members stayed with me, I felt surrounded by love, peace, and the knowledge that families are connected in this life and the next.

My husband and I have had many experiences with ancestors helping us, but this experience was especially sweet because it came to me in such a difficult moment. It was a vivid reminder that we are never alone. When we need help we will be ministered to by spirits who love us, know us, and want to help us succeed."

I loved this article and completely agree with everything in it. I know that God is aware of our circumstances, and no matter what he will send us the help that we need. I appreciate his tender mercies and the loving angels that i have protecting and helping me along my way. Im not a parent yet, but now when I take that step i will know it wont only be me helping my precious child, it will be all my loved ones on the other side of the veil as well. 

Week 10

This week was really interesting. we talked about fathers and finances. My whole childhood i grew up with my dad in the home. he works really hard for our family, sometimes he would spend nights in the office just to get jobs done, his hard work has really paid off! Now he owns his own company and really enjoys what he does. Im so grateful for all the hard work my dad does so that we can have dinner on our table, and the fun things we do as a family. I know that it isn't easy for him, he gets stressed, and pushed to his limits, but that is what we are here for! to help and encourage him. My dad has taught me about working hard. My parents have tried to teach me about budgeting... lets just say i didn't really listen while they tried to teach :) im not the very best at budgeting and occasionally get the overdraft fees. i promise myself every time it happens that i wont let it happen again, but here we are! I pray my husband is really great with money and he can help me along the way.

how has your father helped you? how do you budget your money, if you have any tips that would be great!:)

Week 9

Hi again! this weeks topic was on communication.

we had a really good time in class, lots of laughs and agreeing. We mainly talked about how men and women dont really know how to communicate. I take full responisbility in that! I'm the worst at letting people know how i am feeling, or really even showing it for that matter. My boyfriend has a really hard time trying to read me.

most women will drop "hints" - I'm totally guilty of this. in class brother Williams used the example of stopping on a road trip to get a drink. a girl might say "are you thirsty?' and the boy might say "no, I'm fine" and keep driving. This might upset the girl and cause problems. i have seen this in so many way in my life, not the same exact situation - but if i dont voice my opinion and just kind of expect people to read my mind! how do you feel about communication? how have you made it work in your life?

ashley

Week 8

This week I learned a lot. I was able to look into my own life, as well as my family and really see where a lot of things stem from. this week we talked about stress. how it affects you individually as well as a system. There are many things that can cause stress in families. Loosing a loved one, financial situations and employment. Those are two of the main ones that my family has faced. death is really hard to face and i have lost many loved ones to cancer. it brings a lot of stress because there is no control over those kind of sicknesses. My family has been through areas of being unemployed and struggling for income. the lord has blest us in many ways since then. i love my family and we learn from the times when it is stressful in our home, its not easy at the time but we look back with a grateful heart.

WEEK 7

This week i was really sick and i wasn't able to go into class, so i had to learn just by reading in the book instead of learning from the discussion. This weeks focus was on sexuality. This topic is so controversial, the meaning of sex has really changed. It wasn't in this class, but it in one of my marriage classes that the professor that was teaching made us think of sex, and what words came to mind. things like dirty, secret, fun came up. then he told us to think of God and the things that came up were holy, clean, special. He then stated that that is what sex is suppose to be, something that is special and holy to us, that we share with a legally married spouse. its not just a hook up on a Friday night, that lesson really has helped me in my life and as i read through this chapter that is the one thing that kept ringing true in my head.

Week 6

We had another really great class this week. The topics we covered were mainly on marriage, and the changes that are made.  I'm not married, I'm still in the dating process. This class was really good for me to get an idea of what will happen. We talked about the first 6 months and how so many big changes happen. Like moving in together, having more family, schedule changes, always having someone around, your personal time is a lot less. There are a lot of factors! during the first year there are traditions, payments, doctor visits, and many other things in between!  There is also deciding when to have kids and al that fun stuff!

My brother got married about a year ago, and people always ask him and his wife when they are going to start having kids they get really annoyed with it and wish people would just let them make that decision on their own.

We also talked a lot about how both parents need to be involved in the birth process which I totally agree with. I think having a bunch of people in the room isn't really necessary. It should just be you, your spouse and the new little baby! I get really excited talking about babies and families. I'm excited to have that some day and I'm really grateful I have this class to help me out!

Week 5

I really enjoyed this weeks class. we talked about dating! i recently broke up with my really serious boyfriend. we met here at BYU-I and then we both served missions, when i got home in February we started dating. we dated for about 6 months, we had plans to get engaged. we went ring shopping, he met my family, and i had a plane ticket to fly out to Arizona and meet his family. but the more i thought about it and the way that i felt i knew that i wasn't as happy as i could be. i didn't feel like i was completely myself. even though he was a great guy and our relationship was amazing, i knew that there was more. so i broke up with him. so this class has been really good for me to get my head back on straight and get back into the world of dating.

One conversation that we had in class i really appreciated. we talked about people "practicing marriage" while they are just dating. meaning going to the temple for a date, or reading Scriptures together. i have roommates that do this and it worries me sometimes. obviously those things are so important and we should be doing them, but i really believe that they are also sacred. they should be done with a spouse, not someone that is just a fling or something that wont develop into a marriage. the class discussion gave me a few ideas of how i could bring this up with my roommates and explain to them that it isnt the appropriate time to be doing those things and they could be doing things much different to build up their relationships with their boyfriends.

Week 4

This weeks topic, SAME SEX ATTRACTION. not going to lie, it was a little bit of an uncomfortable situation, but i can honestly say that i do look at it in a different lighting now. I have a couple family members, as well as a few friends that struggle with same sex attraction, before class i didnt really know how to treat the subject, do i support them even though i dont support what they are doing? do i tell them i think its wrong?

during class i was able to be reassured that i dont need to tell them what they are doing is wrong, or support the sin, rather i should love them and let them know i am there for them. becuase these people dont want it to happen to them! its a struggle, most people dont wish that upon themselves, or any of their loved ones.

what really got me thinking was when brother williams was talking about the 23 year old boy that came to see him. he said that he was gay and he didnt want to be, thats basically just what he had heard and started to believe it. a couple visits later he came into the office and announced that he was starting to be attracted to his friends that were girls and as brother williams was telling us he got really emotional, i guess that is when i realized how real these things are, and that the atonement is so real because they can overcome these feelings that come from satan.

what are your thoughts on same sex attraction and how have you helped your loved ones with this issue?

Week 3

hey hey!
This week's discussions were really great. The topic I want to talk about is CULTURES. Are they equal??? My personal opinion is no. our cultures are not equal, that is why there is racism and such hate in the world, because we do things differently! Being part of the LDS religion, that is my culture. My religion is everything, it makes up who I am and what im doing, what i want to do, and where I am headed. And just as me, there are plenty of people that feel the same way about their religion, or even the place that they are from.

I served a mission in Kansas. I served in a little town called Dodge City. It was an old town, and had a high hispanic population. I fell in love with the spanish people there. I love them so much!! Their culutre is one that i will not forget, they were the nicest, most considerate people i have ever met in my life. they would always let us into their homes, they would make sure that we had food to eat and warm clothes. They were amazing, and going to other places in kansas not everyone treated us like that. I knew it was because that was their culture, they were taught that way, and they teach that way. i love it!!

i believe that our cultures can be the same, through the gospel of jesus christ we can all become one. we can learn from eachother and teach eachother. that will be an amazing day.

Week 2

hey again!
  this week i learned so much in class. we talked about family dynamics. i have never thought about this topic. obviously i knew that each family is different, but never thought about why and the behind it.

My family is very laid back. we love to spend time with each other. we have a family motto that is work hard to play harder. Saturday is our family day, we usually all get together and go for a dirt bike ride or go camping in the summers and in the winter you can find us at our cabin snowmobiling. my family is the most important "thing" that i have. my parents are my closest friends. this week i learned that we are all a system. we work together to make our family work. my parents are a sub system and my brother and sister in law are a sub system to our little family. i find it amazing how it works!


In the text book reading something that i found really interesting was when it was talking about the young boy that was schizophrenic. that wasn't because he was mentally disabled but because he had not developed communication skills and going "crazy" was his way of coping with the situations. communication is so important in our families. i remember when i was younger my parents would get in an argument and i was so scared that they were going to get divorced or that something bad would happen, now i understand that just because they were raising their voices or in an argument doesn't mean that they were fighting, it was conflict, and that is the way that they worked it out.


bottom line, my family is the bomb. i hope everyone is as lucky as i am to have a family as great as mine.

Week 1

This week we had a couple great discussions that i really want to share my thoughts on. also, i do just want to through out there that these are my personal beliefs, im just a college girl in small town rexburg idaho, i dont really expect this to go anywhere, just a place for me to put down my thoughts.


so lets get down to the nitty girtty.

GAY MARRIAGE...
     its a real thing now, i think back on my life and same sex relationships were not really a thing until my junior year of high school, or at least i didnt hear about it until then. i had a couple friends that came out after we graduated. my personal beliefs are that marriage is between a man and a women. period. it is gods plan for us to have children, that is not possible to do with same sex relationships. if god wanted it that way, he would have made it part of the plan. during this life we are here to please god, to follow his commandments so that we can live with him again, it makes me sad to see family members and friends struggle with such things that are driving them away from the presence of our heavenly father. but having said that, i hate the sin, and not the sinner. i sin. everyday, im not saying the person is an awful person if they do sin, because we all do! i love my friends and family that have chosen that life style, even though i know there is a better way for them, i still love them just as i did when i met them.



the next topic is FERTILITY..
when to have kids! i remember when i was little i would always say i wanted at least 15 kids. i loooooove kids. i wanted a cheaper by the dozen type of house. but as i have gotten older ive realized that that is a huge number! the worldly things start to take control. we dont have time for a baby right now, we dont have the money, we just want to focus on school, we wont be good parents.. the list goes on and on. but i think that if we truly wanted the best for us and our families, we would simply pray and make the deicision with our spouse and the lord. he knows best, and the furture children we will have are with him now! he knows them, and knows exactly what we need from them and vice versa. im so grateful that i need to do is get on my knees and ask, and then act. i believe that god will always provide a way. wether that is now, later, or in the next life. his plan will be fulfilled.


if you have any other further thoughts or comments on my post please let me know! please no hateful comments, again these are just my thoughts, not anyone elses!

xo
ashley

Hi! I'm Ashley.

Welcome to my blog!!

First I want to share a little about myself so you can better understand me!
My name is Ashley, I am 21 years old. I come from a family of 5. I was born and raised in Idaho. I love anything and everything outdoors: dirt biking, snowmobiling, camping, hiking, fishing; you name it! I recently returned from serving a mission the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and I am currently attending BYU-I.

One of the classes I'm  taking is about the family. Through this blog I will share my thoughts and feelings on the things that I learn in class. I've never kept a blog before, so I am fairly excited to see where this will go and to be able to express myself in new ways. My class mates are doing the same thing, you can find their blogs in my reading list. Thanks for stopping by! I hope you like the read.

:)
Ashley